Best Burns • Gammon Gibberish Translator

The Sharpest Gammon Roasts

"Send them all back where they came from"

I want to deport the mould from my fridge but I can't even manage that

"This country is full mate, we're being invaded"

The only invasion I've ever stopped is the one in my dreams about brown people

"It's political correctness gone mad"

I call everyone woke while crying that I can't say the n-word at the Christmas table

"I voted Brexit to take back control"

Brexit gave me back control… of my rapidly shrinking pension and rising blood pressure

"All these woke snowflakes are ruining Britain"

I call young people snowflakes while melting down over a rainbow crossing

"They come over here taking our jobs"

They took our jobs — said the man whose last job interview was with a VHS rental shop

"I'm not racist but..."

I'm not racist, I just hate anyone who makes me feel slightly less superior

"We need to stop the boats now"

I voted to stop the boats then spent six years moaning about my Amazon delivery being late

Got a savage one? Paste it into the main translator and share your best burns with us!